NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize