I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize