Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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