This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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