Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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