dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I know her cup size but not her name....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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