Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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