you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
No subtext here. People are naked.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize