id be glad to
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
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There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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