The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize