I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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