its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Randomize