Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize