two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize