like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
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Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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