is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize