Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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