First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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