I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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