I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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