erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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