I need to stop coming to work sober
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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