he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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