He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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