So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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