What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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