I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize