I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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