Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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