I think i peed on brittanys purse
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
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Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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