i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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