You're my little dorito
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize