My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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