We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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