they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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