he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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