Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize