The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
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This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
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Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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