Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
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i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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