and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
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I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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