After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize