if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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