I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize