when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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