First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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