I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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