i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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