Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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