We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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