i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize